To Feign Indifference
by Alison R.T
Summary: "He never wanted to be a brave man, because brave men die too young." Theodore Nott, Slytherin, son of a Death Eater, comrade to Draco Malfoy. He was not good, or at least, he never thought he could be good. But there were a few moments in his life that made him who he was, who he was meant to be.


_I do not count the events of "The Cursed Child" as canon, and instead I prefer a world in which Slytherins are multi-faceted characters and not just bad guys who advance the plot. So, I present to you, "Nine Moments in Which Theodore Nott Unwillingly Becomes a Good Man." Because since he is mentioned very little, I decided that he could be anything he wants to be._

 _Zero._

"These mudbloods are sullying our school and diluting our magic. Muggles are even worse, remember Theo, that when the time comes, we will destroy them. All of them, is that understood?"

"Yes, father."

 _One._

He turns seventeen on a gray autumn day in his sixth year, and when he sneaks out of the school during a Hogsmeade weekend to collect his inheritance, he shakes with nerves. He is tall and thin, with tawny skin and dark brown hair, he is not a strong person. He has always considered himself to be a coward. He was never ashamed of that when he was young. Theodore Nott does not want to join the Death Eaters, but he knows that sooner or later, the bells of time will toll, and he will be asked to do what he does not want to do. So he takes his money and moves it to a French wizarding bank, so that when the time comes to run, he can.

 _Two._

Draco's gray face haunts the Slytherin halls and Theodore wonders if he's become a vampire overnight. But he notices how he itches his forearm, he notices how he sneaks out at night, and he notices how Draco has grown more and more angry as time goes on. Theodore sometimes smiles at him, tries to make him laugh, and eventually gives up once those small acts of kindness do not work. He has better things to do than help out some Death-Eater-in-Training. After all, Theodore's father is a Death Eater as well, but he has a sneaking suspicion that even the Dark Lord is aware that Theodore is a softhearted coward. So perhaps he will be safe for a time.

He starts to wonder which one of them is the bigger coward. While Draco will not deny the Dark Lord, Theodore won't bother to defy him, won't bother to help the resistance or whatever they are, Theodore knows he will run. He wonders if Blaise will hate him or if Daphne will glare at him with her sharp eyes when they find out. He hopes they will, because their pity and understanding would be so much more painful.

So when Theodore goes to Dumbledore, uncomfortable and awkward, and tells him that he thinks Draco is up to something that could harm others, he is relieved when Dumbledore simply thanks him and sends him on his way. Theodore was not built for confrontation, not built for an unsavory life. Yet he doesn't want to have someone die because he says nothing, but he won't act to stop Draco. No, he leaves that to the adults. Draco is no match for Dumbledore, he's sure of that.

 _Three._

Before he disappears, Theodore is asked by a muggleborn Ravenclaw girl if she can come with him. Apparently she had heard him telling Blaise his plan in the Leaky Cauldron, and he wonders if anyone powerful or important heard him speak. The Prophet has just come out, revealing that their new headmaster would be Snape, revealing that now they would all be required to attend. The muggleborns would have to flee or risk being captured. Theodore decides he wants to flee before he can be forced into servitude. He wonders about the girl in Hufflepuff, with her pretty smile and words of kindness, he wonders if she will be punished for being the child of a squib and blood-traitor. He always fancied her a bit. The thought of her made his decision before he could stop himself.

Although he would rather disappear without a word, he tells the Ravenclaw girl to round up as many of her muggleborn friends as she can. He gives her a portkey to the small Italian villa he purchased with some of his inheritance. He made the portkey illegally, of course. Portkeys were his specialty actually, he could even rig up renegade floo systems without the Ministry ever even getting a peep of it. Theodore had a knack for transportation. It was his only talent, really. What else could an awkward, too thin boy do during a war? He doesn't want to help, he keeps telling himself that he doesn't want to get involved.

But he does.

 _Four._

They come in droves for weeks, and he hands out portkeys left and right. He puts up protective wards and hides in the middle of a vastly muggle town. His father is ashamed of him, he knows it without having to speak to him. His friends are ashamed of him too. Blaise would never say it out loud, but he's hurt that Theodore abandoned him. Daphne apparently won't even say his name if gossip can be believed. But Theodore Nott reminds himself that he was not meant for war, that he is meant for academia and pursuing a fulfilling and well-paid career. He wanted glory and title, and now he is a nameless man in a town where he doesn't speak a word of Italian. Theodore isn't sure if he chose the right path.

In his boredom, he fights his disgust, fights his prejudice, and starts taking muggle classes at a local university. He starts to realize that he has been fed lies his entire life about what muggles truly are.

 _Five._

One of the people that shows up is Professor Sprout during Christmastime. She has three small muggleborns with her, and although she is wary, she has heard through the Order that this thin Slytherin has been doing wonders with helping the escape of muggleborns and their families. She explains that they need supervision until she can find their parents and safely transport them there. Although he is not good with children, although Theodore looks at them with vague discomfort, he transfigures some bunkbeds into his guest room.

They stay for four days, and then Professor Sprout whisks them away to America with their parents, using a portkey he painstakingly crafted. He almost misses their presence, but there is a part of him that is happy to know that they are further from the danger than he is.

 _Six._

Theodore does not go to The Battle of Hogwarts, as the people are calling it. He never wanted to be a brave man, because brave men die too young. He instead is a cautious man, and when he arrives to help with the cleanup, he is regarded with narrowed eyes and hissed insults. It isn't until he is approached by the Ravenclaw muggleborn who started it all, that people begin to realize the role he played in the war. They hug him and thank him, lauding his bravery and secrecy. But he simply shakes his head with a small, sad smile. He is not a hero, he did not do anything of merit.

He is not brave, he is a coward, but he could not let people die. So the others leave him be, and he finds his father's body, old and decrepit, dead in battle as he always wanted. Later, he finds out that he was killed by Seamus Finnegan moments after his father had crucio'ed Dean Thomas. He wants to be sad for his father, but Theodore knows that he deserved the ending he got. The Nott family fortune is his now, he figures. Unless his father had time to change his will, that is. But in the silence of Hogwarts, his home, he realizes that he doesn't quite care if the money is his or not. The lives that he saved, those were the only things that mattered. The war was over.

 _Seven._

The manor is his, as are the ancestral lands, the artifacts, the money. Theodore doesn't want anything to do with the house, so he has the house elves clean it until it's new and he turns it into a museum, something to commemorate the first and second wizarding wars of Voldemort. He brings his idea to the ministry, which is culled and full of fresh blood. At first they balk at the idea of the son of a death eater running a museum about the war, but Hermione Granger says it's a lovely idea.

Halls are filled with memorials and photographs, the large rooms have exhibits on those remembered as heroes and those who are written as villains. But even with all of the carnage, it still doesn't fill up the entire house, so Theodore thinks a bit and decides to travel around the world for a while to collect muggle art to put on display. It had taken him nearly eighteen years to realize that muggles aren't savages, and he hopes his museum will make that clear. He wants the prejudices to die.

It's very popular, and although it is occasionally vandalized by blood purists, Theodore decides he wouldn't have it any other way.

 _Eight._

He marries the Hufflepuff girl he had fancied in Hogwarts. They're too young and a little foolish, but Piper and Theodore couldn't be happier as they travel the world, looking for art and meeting new people. Always learning, their web of allies and friends growing to a ridiculous point. She had been offered Ravenclaw by the hat the same way he had been offered Ravenclaw. They fit together like puzzle pieces. Loyalty, logic, love.

Theodore hopes that everyone who survived the war would be that happy.

 _Nine._

His daughter is five. She sits on his lap and looks at him with a question on her lips; she asks "Daddy, is it better to be good or to be smart?" His life of logic and cowardice flashes before his eyes, and he realizes that the answer was obvious. So obvious.

"If you can, my love, you should always be good."


End file.
